Discovering Who We Are
by Alex556
Summary: Join the sand siblings on a journey as they slowly start to fix what is broken between them and begin discover who they are as a family.
1. Monster upstairs

**Thought I'd re-write an old one-shot. Warning: Self harm (sort of) and blood**

Temari's POV

Five days. Five days Gaara had be isolated in his room and five days since the failed attempt of the Konoha invasion. How did I know that? I no longer heard the squeaks of the stairs or Gaara's bedroom door or window being opened during night when he sat on the roof top to stare at the moon. We'd usually see Gaara at least a few times a day but now it's almost like he disappeared. As bad as this sounds, both me and Kankuro haven't been on edge or having to hold our breathe whenever Gaara entered a room or even spoke to us at the thought of him threatening to kill us. You'd think we would of been used to it by now, but honestly, it never got easier.

Without Gaara the house was full of empty serenity, a daunting feeling of what was happening to the monster we call our brother who lived up stairs. I was so afraid to build the courage to enter his room or even speak to him for that matter.

I was so petrified of him, of my own brother. I had to do something even If it killed me.

"Anyone must have a death wish to even have the guts to walk into his room Temari..." Kankuro had said to me after I suggested one of us should go check on him. Kankuro did have a point.

"I know Kankuro, but his our brother and it's our job to take care of him whether we like it or not"

 **Normal POV**

12:00 AM. Temari knocked on the door.

"Gaara...?" She gave a knock at the door pressing her ear against it.

No answer. Maybe that was a good thing?

"Gaara... it's me..let me in,talk to me" She knocked harder as she held her breath, a small whimper was heard from room

Still no answer.

"Leave..." The voice trembled with silent rage from within the darkness, Temari could sense a hint of pain from the monster.

She knocked harder, her body trembling and sweating ' _he's my brother...I shouldn't be afraid of my own flesh and blood!'_ Temari thought to her self.

"Let me in Gaara! I know you're in pain...I can help..please"

"G-go a-awayy." The cry turned into an agonising scream. His voice sent a shiver down her spine.

"Gaara I-" The door opened with a eerie screech. _Just breathe Temari._

Temari stepped into the dark and cold room were the only light source was the moon.

Her heart sank. The image in front of her caused her heart to skip a beat. _Gaara..._

Her little brother sat on his bed with his knees close to his chest and his face was hidden behind them like a frighted child hiding away, one of his hands clutching the side of his head. He was a child at the end of the day. A child deprived of love. But there was something else that caught Temari's eyes.

Blood.

Blood staining the white lining, blood staining the carpet.

Blood staining Gaara's wrist.

His other hand was laid beside him on the white sheet.

Temari was speechless. _He's my brother goddammit, my brother! Not a monster!_

She walked closer "Gaara you're hurt, let me see" she crouched down reaching for his bleeding wrist but he yanked his arm away in a violet protest.

"Leave Temari. It'll _kill_ you!" Temari could hear the pain in the malice of his voice.

"I'll be back" Temari left the room and within seconds she came back with the first aid kit. Gaara didn't move or even lift his head to face her. There was sand on the floor that was beginning to swirl around where she stood. _Shit.._

Temari grabbed his wrist quickly but as gentle as she could. "What happened Gaara?" She took out a white cloth and placed it on his wrist. No answer.

"Did you...er.. do this yourself?" She placed her hand on the white cloth on his wrist, he flinched from her touch

"I had..no choice" He lifted his head up meeting his sister's gentle gaze. There was no usual cold violence in his eyes. Instead he almost looked tired. So tired and lifeless.

There was a few minutes silence between them as Temari had began to stitch his wrist, she could see deep multiple scars on Gaara's other wrist.

Gaara stared up, watching Temari.

"Why?.." Gaara decided to speak, forcing the words out.

"Gaara you're hurt...I cant leave you bleeding" Temari was trying hard not to tremble in fear of her little brother, her hands were also sweating and shaking as she was stitching him up.

"Are you afraid?" His voice had turned distant and cold as normal which made Temari tremble even more.

"No..no I'm not afraid..just c-"

"Do not lie to me. You are afraid of me. You're trembling in fear." His body tensed up in anger. Her heart sank again seeing pain in his sea-foam eyes. The sand around her feet swirled faster.

She changed the subject "Why did you hurt yourself..what did you use?"

Silence entered once again. "I had..no choice..it made me...the sand."

"No Gaara, it doesn't control you, you're strong...don't let it win. I care about you, Kankuro cares about you"

"Why would you care for the likes of something like me?" _Something...not someone._

"Because you're my brother, we're family and family take care of each other" She had finished stitching him up and stood up. A sigh of relief came from her as the sand stopped moving at last.

"I'll leave you alone now" She picked up the first aid kit but a ice cold hand grabbed her wrist.

"Don't...stay.." His words were choked. "don't leave me.."

Temari felt tears build up in her eyes and sat on Gaara's bed.

She nodded and moved further on the bed next to Gaara, she finally stopped trembling and relaxed, their shoulders just an inch apart. _What the hell happened with that leaf shinobi?_

"Temari..."

"What is it, Gaara?"

"I'm sorry"

This was the second time he had ever apologised and meant every word.

"It's okay don't mention it." Temari gave a gentle smile.

Gaara relaxed his eyes and closed them. A few minutes past and he called her name again.

"Temari.."

"Yea?"

"Thank you."

* * *

 **I may write more but idk yet. Reviews are appreciated**


	2. Purpose

**So I've decided to write more and changed the title and description to fit the story. I don't know how long this story will last or where it's going but I'll see what happens.**

 **"Shukaku's thoughts"**

 _Italic: "thoughts and flashback speaking"_

* * *

It was early morning, the night after the incident with Gaara. Temari was sat at the kitchen table, a coffee in one hand. She'd eventually left Gaara's room after she'd almost fell asleep until her brother reassured her that he was okay and wished to be left alone.

"Morning sis, surprised to see you in one piece. What the hell happened last night?" Kankuro said as he entered the kitchen, his face bare of make-up. Well Kankuro always insisted it was war paint... but Temari couldn't see the difference. Kankuro put the kettle on boil and leaned against the kitchen worktops.

Temari gathered up her thoughts before explaining. "I'm not actually sure but the sand is turning against him. His arms are all cut up and scarred. I had to stitch up a wound last night.

Kankuro frowned. "Damn just when you think Gaara couldn't get anymore emo." Temari raised her eyebrow in her brothers direction as if to say: _I'm serious._ Kankuro just shrugged in response.

"He didn't want to be left alone. Whatever happened between him and that leaf shinobi has changed him some how" Said Temari. It was true, their little psychotic brother said _sorry_ and _meant_ it. Just like he meant it last night. Kankuro finished making his coffee and took a sip before replying.

"Maybe he'll change for the better, I don't know how long we have left to live till he breaks and kills us. I mean shit he could of killed you last night, Tem" Concern was awakening in his voice. He honestly wouldn't know what to do If Gaara ever did succeed in killing his older sister. He'd damn right miss her.

Temari shook her head. "It felt like he was fighting the urges to kill. He could of so easily killed me."

Kankuro threw his sister a surprised look. "Well maybe we'll soon say goodbye to that crazy psy-" Kankuro was cut off.

"Crazy?"

 _Shit.._

Gaara stood in the doorway of the kitchen. He wore his usual cold expressionless face but something wasn't quite right. Instead of his sea-foamed eyes looking usually unamused, they looked almost empty. A lifeless weapon. Kankuro froze to the spot and held his breath, the only movement he made was making eye contact with his sister.

"Oh! Good morning Gaara!.." Temari awkwardly laughed to ease the tension. Kankuro didn't dare move. Gaara just stared at his older sister, not knowing what to say to her .

 **Crazy! Did you hear what he just called** _ **you?** _**We** **can't let him get away with that now can we? Kill him already!**

Temari composed herself. "How's your wounds?" She asked, genuine concern in her voice. "I could take a lot at it?"

 **She doesn't care about you.**

"No. That won't be necessary." He simply said, folding his arms in his usual posture.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

 **Ha! She couldn't care less about you, she's only tricking you to make you weak.**

"Shut up." Gaara wasn't sure who he was replying to. Temari almost looked hurt but she knew when to back off. Shut up was Gaara's was of saying "I'm getting closer to wanting to kill you"

Gaara began to walk away to wherever he was going. After they were both certain Gaara had gone, Kankuro breathed a sigh of release. "That was close" He said. "And you said he's _changed?"_

"Well If you had only see the mess he was in last night. It wasn't like him at all. And besides it doesn't help you calling him crazy Kankuro!" Her eyebrow twitched in frustration as she eyed up her brother. "Oh come on! You and I both know that kid's got problems and it's not like I _wanted_ him to hear me."

Temari stood up and walked towards the doorway. "I'm heading out to stoke up on groceries, I'd wait for you but it'll take you awhile to put on all the _make-up."_

"It's kabuki paint, dumbass!"

"Whatever" Temari smirked and waved her hand in the air as she left.

* * *

Gaara finally decided to leave his bedroom to sit on the rooftop during the early morning sunrise after 5 days of isolating himself. Of course he was never truly alone.

 **You'll always be alone. Just me and you kid...** Shukaku sniggered.

Recently Shukaku had become more loud and demanding since the fight between that shinobi from the leaf village and it was only because Gaara had be questioning his purpose in life

 **Which is to _kill...!_**

What made that boy so strong? What made him carry on fighting till the very end. Not once did he ever give up during the fight. Gaara saw the fire in Narutos eyes as he crawled towards him. He somehow _knew_ how Gaara felt. What is was like to feel so alone. To feel the loneliness begin to suffocate you from the inside until all you felt was hatred.

 _"..there are other people out there who mean a lot to me... I care more about others than I do myself."_

 **Caring for other people only makes you a pathetic weakling. Is that what you want to be?**

 _"... because they saved me from myself. They rescued me from my loneliness.."_

"Be quiet." Gaara said. He couldn't stop himself from replaying what Naruto had said. He had been through the same pain Gaara had been through, and yet they were so different from each other. What was Naruto's purpose in life?

" _...I'll kill anymore who tries to hurt my friends!"_

His purpose in life was to protect his friends so that means -

 **Friends? Friends only make you weak. Who would ever want to be friends with you?**

Gaara clenched the side of his head in frustration.

That means his purpose in life was to protect his friends. So that's what made him so strong.

 _ **I**_ **make you strong. Now feed me you little brat!**

"Shut up!" Gaara shouted. The villagers heard the monster scream from the rooftop, took hold of their children and ran away from the building.

It was _love_ that made him so strong. Love.

"Love?" He frowned. A word so foreign to his tongue. All was quiet after this sudden realisation, maybe Shukaku had finally given up.

But he had no intention in giving up. Not until he was fed.

 **Mm.. but what a shame that no one will ever love a monster.**

And of course Shukaku was always right.

* * *

Towards the end of the day, Temari had returned to the kitchen to begin preparing dinner while Kankuro sat down near the kitchen table. She couldn't stop thinking about Gaara since that night. She just wanted to help him in any way she could, but the risk of getting too involved could lead to being killed by her own brother in an instant. But it was her responsibility to look after her two brothers, she was the oldest and mother would of wanted her to take care of them, even Gaara. So she made it her mission to step up and look after them.

"Hey will you get off your lazy ass already and help me prepare dinner" Temari said looking over her shoulder.

Kankuro looked unamused. "But that's a woman job." He smirked at his older sister. He did love getting on her nervous, at least she wouldn't kill him. Temari stopped in her tracks,picked up the cutting knife and turned towards her brother. She pointed the knife at him and raised both eyebrows. "Get off your ass, or I'll cut you!"

 _Damn Temari can be pretty scary when she wants to be..._

"Alright, alright! Geez..." He put his hands up to surrender. Temari grinned in response.

"Is Gaara in his room?" Kankuro asked. Normally when it came to dinner time, Temari usually placed Gaara's meal in the fridge for when he was ready but for the past 5 night she had left it outside his bedroom door, not that he ever ate that much anyway.

"Not sure, last time I was him was this in the kitchen, when he almost _killed_ you."

Kankuro awkwardly laughed in response. "Ouch shit!" He swore as he accidentally cut his finger. Temari looked over at her clumsy brother and rolled her eyes. Yep, these two definitely needed taken care of...

Kankuro walked towards the sink to put his finger up the tap. To their surprise, Gaara had walked into the kitchen and frowned. "The idiot cut his finger." Temari informed him. Kankuro then sighed and braced himself as he turned around to face his little brother. "Hey..er..Gaara, I'm really sorry for calling you crazy.. I didn't mean it" He said, his voice awkwardly stuttered. Gaara stared at his brother for a few moments, uncertain of what to say.

"It's fine.." He said and walked away. Temari sometimes had a feeling that Gaara had always wanted to say more when he spoke, but perhaps that demon inside of him stopped him, controlled him too much.

Temari sighed.

A strong wielded kunoichi, a loudmouth puppeteer and a lonely monster. Despite the broken parts between the three of them, they were still a family. It would take a while for them to discover who they were in this little family, but they'd get there in the end. Together.


End file.
